Controlled or loved

Controlled

Control (v): to maintain influence or authority over.

Since when did that become sexually attractive? How do you explain to your teenage daughter that what they do in Darfur is called rape, but here in the States it’s exotica at it’s finest? Oh, right because the woman/girl is ok with it. Why would any person be ok with someone else controlling and causing them pain?

Ladies…it is never okay for someone who “loves” you to hurt you – physically, mentally, emotionally and most definitely sexually. Our gender has been fighting for generations to free us from the image of property. And now it’s a fad to be controlled – as an inanimate object – by another person?!

I don’t care that Fifty Shades of Grey is about sexual performances or that the writer has no writing skills whatsoever. I do care that women aren’t appalled by the fact that the book is turning them on! A friend told me that she wishes someone wanted her as much as Christian wanted Ana. He didn’t want her as a loving companion and partner. He wanted to “f*** her”. Oh wow…be still my beating heart…it must be true love.

I don’t want to be one of “those reviewers”…and I’m not. I did buy the first book and I wasn’t able to finish it. It broke my heart in ways I haven’t felt in awhile. I had read so many reviews but no one really touched on the disturbing fact that women were turned on by a female author who talked about her own gender signing up to be someone else’s chattel.

I don’t care that they end up falling in love, getting married, he was sexually exploited himself and needed a good woman to help him through, blah, blah, blah… I don’t care how you write it, pad it, or excuse it: it’s pathetic to our gender. We are better than that. You are better than that.

Anything else is a lie meant to destroy you.

Image credit: Flyzipper

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  • I don’t read a lot of fiction, so this really wasn’t on my radar until a lot of folks started buzzing (either good or bad) about. I haven’t voiced my concerns over it b/c I have not in fact read it and I don’t like to jump on bandwagons against things I have not read/seen myself. With that said, what you have described does disturb me and is the reason why I have not read it after it became popular enough to be on my radar. That and as I get older things tend to stick with me more and I really don’t want that sticking with me…

    • You know Cris, I’ve noticed that myself (things sticking in my head). Maybe this is that common sense that our Mom’s kept telling us about? 😉

  • You are singing my song. My heart breaks that this is a national best seller and women are in love with this man and story. A co worker read it in a book club and loaned it to me. I couldn’t even read it, I just skimmed through it. The “story” made me soul crushing sad. This is not what I want for any woman, especially a young girl who has no experiences. That is not love. And the end where she wrote in Grey’s point of view? Made me sick. I’ll get off my soap box now. I’m glad I’m not alone in this.

    • I guess that’s what really got me too…a young girl with no experiences thinking this is the norm. Thank’s for your thoughts, Dana!

  • I worked on this inreetsting topic There is a concept according to which wine is a cultural good and as such comparable with other works of arts This however is a economic theory. What would a lawyer say about it

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