A 20-year lie

Tetanus shot

I hear that telling the truth will set you free.

I’m not feeling too free right now.

I have been telling a lie for over 20 years. For the sake of my health and my son’s, I’m going to “liberate” my black heart from this lie. It’s not like I have to confess it to Jesus as he’s oh, so very, aware of my silliness. I really don’t expect some angelic, trumpet-blowing moment after relinquishing this lie, but here goes:

I been telling doctors for 20 years that I’ve had my tetanus shot recently and I haven’t.

There. {For those of you laughing…try going in at 11 year old to a Health Center and letting some 80 year old lady throw needles at your arm all day! Those needles were 6 feet long! Yes, they were!!!}

…big breath…

This means, that in reality, I haven’t had a tetanus shot since sometime in the 80’s. My mother knows about this HORRID lie I’ve been telling. It makes her crazy. “What about lockjaw!?!?!” I figure it’s the 21st century…don’t they have a cure for that yet?

I’m going to a new doctor. I actually kind of dig her, but she’s got this “bad patient” radar and she zero’d in on me like a buzzard on roadkill. Something about how they’re having to give the whooping cough shot WITH the tetanus shot to protect me from my bad immune system. I immediately started sweating.

*the above image makes me sweat…really*

Oldman is due for his 12yo boosters and he’s freaking out. He had such a bad experience with so many needles when he had his Purpura bout that he looks at needles like I do. So I do the stupidest thing EVER…

…I’m going in with him tomorrow morning so we can get our shots together.

You don’t understand! Just writing about this about to put me into a straight jacket!!! For some reason, something highjacked my brain into thinking that I could go first and show Oldman how it’s done. Now, all he’s going to see is his mother throwing up in a cold sweat saying, “Ok, let’s do this…WAIT WAIT WAIT…GIVE ME A MINUTE….Ok…NO…NO!!!!!”

He’s going to be more terrified than ever…

Jesus, take the wheel….Oy.

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  • Deep breath. You can get through this. Trust me, the few moments of discmfort are a lot easier to handle than an ER visit.

  • Wonderful read, thanks for idunortcing us to Dwight! Although I’d never really thought of it, there actually is some good reasoning behind considering wine an art. I often think that baking taps into my artistic side. Who’s to say that a delicious cupcake priced at $4.50 in the bakery isn’t art also?!

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