Bustin’ sheep and bustin’ bugs

Two weeks ago was the Ozark State Fair. Now, I am in no way high and mighty, but unless I just want to get a laugh out of life, I don’t go to fairs or carnivals. What is it with Farris Wheels that brings every odd duck out of all the dark corners of town?

I did go this year to see both ladies and gents who just couldn’t quite get out of the 80’s. (You couldn’t pay me to get my bangs to stand that high ever again.)  Grandma’s that remembered her teeth but forgot the bra. Toddlers running around in nothing but a diaper…looking for their “Maw-Maw”. And worse yet, I’ve never seen so many teenaged girls making out with 50-year-old men. (“But he loves me!”) *shudder*

A good friend pointed out a new thing to watch for around here…the tattoo to missing teeth ratio. No lie! There’s a connection!

I braved it because it was all over the news how much better it was going to be this year. The workers were required to wear teal polos! At least I knew where to score my next hit from a distance. *aheh…tongue in cheek, ya’ll*

After spending $995.00 on corn dogs and root beer we went a’sight’seen.  In mid-slurp, Gremlin grabbed my arm jerking and yelling, “I have GOT to do that!”

And of course, without any hesitation, I signed that boy up! I mean, really…watching your child ride a sheep and eat a little dirt in the process?  That’s great stuff!  All he had to do to win is hold on for dear life for 6 seconds.  And that’s exactly what he did which entered him into the Championship round the next night.

He’s got confidence, flair and just little bit of smugness.

Then he saw this kid in “REAL” chaps…he started to realize he just might be over his head.

He checked out the ride. I heard him say, “I’m gonna ride one of you and you’re gonna help me win this all the way to Texas.” Uhmm…serious much?

They had the contestants strut their stuff around the arena so everyone could hoot and hollar.  He’s not too bad at the struttin’ thing.

Look at that face!  He’s serious now!

He was number 9 in line and only one girl (Gasp! A girl!) had made it to 6 seconds. I asked if he was nervous and he said, “Nope…just want to get this round over with so I can go to Texas.”  (Pssst….Texas = Santa Fe, NM, apparently…that’s where the World Finals is gonna be.)

And with that he rode…As you can see, he lost his shoe and apparently without that shoe, you can’t grip too well. Poor kiddo fell before the 6 second bell and on the way down apparently “Ms. Sheep from hell” stepped on his thigh. He cried but he was more mad that he didn’t get to go to Texas and that he was “carried off like a baby”.

He really likes it and want’s to do it again, but wonders if he should just ride things that want to be ridden. I love that kid!

While Gremlin was getting trampled on, OldMan was getting some kind of Hoof and Mouth disease or maybe it was Mad Cow Sheep. I’m not sure what but by 12:30 that night he started puking. Have you ever tried to get a puking kid off the top bunk?  I’m not ashamed to say that I hid behind J while OldMan puked all over him (and a little in his mouth!). It was everywhere. Do you think J got it afterwards?  Oh…no.  Apparently the Mad Cow Sheep bug jumped the bunk bed, right over J’s body and burrowed into my head, cause 2 days later it was my turn! Now you know where I’ve been this past week.

Moral of the story? Fairs still suck.

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