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Cour­tesy of Bill in Ash Vegas

Now I grew up part of the time in Okla­homa and part of my child­hood in India. That means only one thing…

I was one tough lit­tle girl.

Throw in a lit­tle sass and a pinch of stub­born aire and voila! You’ve got a pain in the arse that thinks she’s all that.

Thank­fully, time has molded that girl into a much more real­is­tic per­son (Every­one says, “Amen”)

Time has also turned that girl into a pansy.

Last year, my 9yo found a tick on his head, just above his ear.  He freaked.  I told him to stop act­ing like a girly-boy so I could work on get­ting it out.

(That sounds so mean, but he was doing this weird flail­ing thing with his body and looked like a spaz.)

Last night it was my turn and I did not han­dle it as well as he did.

My back was killing me so J told me to lay across the bed and he’d rub it out (Hmmmm.…I’m not going there.…).  Just as he was start­ing he stood up and said, “Now don’t freak out but you’ve got a tick on your leg and I’m.….”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAT!!!! Where?! You’re lying!”

“Right in your leg pit. I’m sure it’s noth­ing so don’t.…”

“EWEWEWEWEWEWEW!!!  GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!”

*Insert weird flail­ing of body and look­ing like a spaz*

I flunked OkieLife 101. Hard.

As a kid I would’ve just yanked that sucker off and squeezed it between two nails hop­ing to get a good ‘pop’ out of it. Now? I was dry-heaving every­where. I had visions of psy­che­delic lime dis­ease symp­toms. It’s just that his head was buried so stinkin’ deep in my body!

After some seri­ous appli­ca­tion of fin­ger­nail pol­ish, J was able to tweeze him out. His head was huge, but body small so thank­fully he hadn’t been there long.

Still.….GAH!