Baffling conundrums

…I love that word – conundrum.

Summer has been fun for the boys, but it’s ending very strange.  Here’s the dealio:

Oldman – Almost every single night for the past 2 weeks, he has been having nightmares about Gremlin that wakes the house.  He has always been a sleep walker/talker/mover.  Most of the time it’s funny.  Lately…not so much.  He wakes everyone up with hysterical cries, flopping around on his bed and crying for me.  If I touch him he acts like it hurts, but I’ve found out that if I stroke his head and say things like, “Shhhhh, it’s ok.  Gremlin’s fine. It’s over….shhhhhhh…” then he’ll eventually calm down.  Then it’s over just as quick as it started.  And he never remembers it in the morning.  He only remembers the nightmare.  I have tried many different ways to make his bedtime relaxing and comfortable, and he never watches scary things (he’s too sensitive at this point).  I’m running out of ideas.  He’s exhausted…I’m exhausted (jumping to that top bunk is hard!).  Has anyone experienced this?  Is it just a phase?  Googling did nothing for me on this other than tell me my son needs a straightjacket.  Lovely.

Gremlin – This one’s a bit delicate so there’s going to be a lot of reading between the lines.  Remember when you were little there was always those stories of the kids that went around telling other kids, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!”  Well, Gremlin’s so called friend at school pulled that on him.  Except it was more of a, “If you want your car back….”  As a momma, I want to deck that little snot.  Unfortunately, Gremlin felt like IdiotBoy wouldn’t be his friend anymore if he didn’t do it.  We have talked with both our boys to ad nausem about the touching and looking rule.  But the fear of loosing a so called friend was apparently stronger.  He said it made him feel uncomfortable and he was very sad.  He’s still sad this morning.  I’m obviously trying to comfort him and reassure him that it wasn’t his fault and that the little son-of-a-seahorse needs a lot of prayer.  The irritating part of it is that it happened at the school’s playground with teachers RIGHT there.  I know they can’t watch every second, but the way that playground is laid out, it would be very hard for another kid to NOT see it happening.  J’s going to talk to the Coordinator cause this momma is too irate.  Thoughts on this this one??

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  • Oh man. Those are some conundrums.

    I wish I had some magic answers. I’m not sure about Oldman. My kids have never nightmared like that That’s an intense one. Poor guy. My heart breaks for him. I know how exhausting it is to not sleep well. Your son doesn’t need a straightjacket. One thing that worked for my kids’ bad dreams was to remind them that God is Bigger than the Boogieman. I’m not sure how well that will help Oldman, tho.

    Gremlin. Gosh. That happened to my daughter once. In pre-k, a boy pulled her behind a puppet playhouse & undid her pants. The teacher saw & immediately put a stop to it. While minor, I guess, I still felt like she had been violated. You are handling it right and yes, he’ll be sad for awhile. But, there will be other friends. Other friends who treat him the way he should be treated. Please update on J’s talk with the Coordinator.

    I’m sorry I can only offer support & sympathy. Wish I had more to give you.

  • My mom says I used to have night terrors like that – it is a phase that you just have to wait out. I think you’re doing everything right – and NO, he doesn’t need a straightjacket!

    And good golly, poor Gremlin! I think you’re handling that one well, too. Do let us know how J’s talk with the Coordinator goes.

    HUGS to you, JenGi! And your boys!

  • When I have nightmares it is usually about something bad happening to my sis. Guess it’s the protective older sibling dynamic. When I do have them, they seem to be every night for a week or so and then they knock off. So I hope it’s just a thing to wait out.

    Just out of curiosity, did these start after Gremlin’s incident?

  • Okay, not a clue about the nightmare thing. Wow, that really sounds intense for everyone involved. You’re in our prayers.

    The other I can speak too at some level. When I taught pre-k a few years ago we had a little boy who would expose himself to some of the little girls. He knew it was wrong. Or at least I think he did, why else would he hide behind something when he did it. I don’t know how many times it happened. But I caught it at least twice. From a teacher’s perspective I’m never been so scared to talk to a parent in all my life. The girls’ parents were cool about it. Well, as cool as you can be in a situation like that. It helped that we were bringing to their attention and not vice versa. It believe that would have been a different story. The boys mother worked at the school and she was quite distraught over the ordeal. The boys parents were divorced and she already had some concerns about what the boy was watching on television and this was that straw that broke the camel’s back. After some frank discussions with the boy by teachers, the school counselor (she visited with the whole class on appropriate touching), and the mom. I’m not aware of it ever being a problem.

    Now the other side of the coin. This summer we sent A-Man to a “get ready for kindergarten” program in the district. About a week into it he mentioned something to us (on a Sunday morning while we were trying to get out the door to church, mind you) about a little boy who was his to the other boys in the bathroom (sheesh, boys — is what I’m thinking at this point) and touching other boys on the bottom. INSERT SOUND OF SQUEALING BRAKES HERE! What’s his name, where does he live. Quick Google Map’s the address, we are going over there right now!!!! I was mad and sick to my stomach all at the same time. A-Man just wanted the kid to stop, I just wanted the kid dead. I calmed down from my level of rage, but still very emotional and sick to my stomach. On Monday morning Hubs went in and talked to the summer school principal (who just happens to be A-Man’s Elementary school principal) and she assured us that she would have a talk with the boy about what type of behavior was appropriate and what was not. She also made the classroom teacher aware of the situation and assured us the boy would only be allowed to use the restroom by himself. That took care of the situation. A-Man said it didn’t happen anymore.
    If I had to guess I would say that it was not this principal’s first time dealing with a situation like this. She was very professional and very prompt in her response. She knew we were serious parents and we knew she was a serious principal.
    JenGi this is only kindergarten. Do they make bubbles with blinders we could put our boys in?

  • Yikes, I just read this….woah! It ain’t the hide in the tent in the back yard with your cousin and the parents far away kinda world anymore, is it. Not that I know, I’m sure I don’t know!

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