My Ozarks Encounter

I L-O-V-E to people-watch. Growing up, the airport was like my second home and to this day there is something peaceful about sitting at the airport watching people hustle and bustle around. I find that even the most rigid people can not cloak their true nature at an airport. I think that’s why I love Ozarkers. They don’t mask who they are to anyone because that’s their culture. And that is so much fun to watch!

Recently I had a garage sale with my mum and boy was I ed-u-ma-cated!

There were the crazy people:

(I know you’re not supposed to do a bunch of posts that are lists, but for skimmers like myself, it makes for better reading.)

~ Apparently, once you turn 50, you must dye your hair platinum blond; stick on some Lee-press-on nails that are 3 inches long and the color of bubblegum pink; Walmart flip-flops with some Lee-press-on toenails –“Frenchie”-manicured but also 3 inches; teal green leggings and a long, white t-shirt….with no bra. I gotta make sure I get out of here by 45.

~ A scanner is nothing but “a copier” that one might be able to hook up to a meth lab to make more crystals. (…huh??!…)

~I love unique sayings or catchy one-liners: I heard all kinds, but one of my favorites was when this old guy saw a screwdriver set and yelled, “Well, I’ll be switched! That’s sexier than socks on a rooster!” (You can bet your sweet-bippy I’ve used that a few times already!)

~The Ozarks is probably one of the only places you can go garage sale-ing and buy a stuffed talking monkey for $1 and get 2 bags of some fine Mary Jane (that’s marijuana, Stacey!) No, it wasn’t my monkey they got it from. Waste not, want not! (just kidding, Mum.)

~It was mind-boggling how many people had to ask me what some things (every day items) were. “Well, maam, I’m sure you could use that as a washcloth, but most people use it as a table cloth.” “It’s luggage. People put their clothes in it to go traveling.”

Then there were the people that touched my heart:

~ Like the girl who was coming to the Baptist University to get her degree to be a Missionary to China. She had a studio apt by the school, with a mattress top on the floor and her clothes. And that’s it. She walked away with a couch, ottoman, and dishes. She was so happy and her parents thought it was a sign from God.

~Or the very poor family that was taking their 8 year old son garage sale-ing for his birthday. I made sure he made out like a bandit!

~And the Hispanic family who couldn’t speak a lick of English. They walked out with a fair number of clothes and kitchen items. I knew it was a survival purchase.

All in all it was a successful sale and many lessons learned.

It was a great day.

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  • Here in Houston almost ALL our garage sale attendees are Hispanic. They pretend to not speak English to try to get good deals on things. Little do they know I speak a little Spanish and can usually understand what they are saying, and you should see their faces when I answer them in Spanish!

    I am sad for the little boy who got garage sale goods for his birthday. :-(

  • It sounds like a great day and you are such a good person. I would have made sure that birthday boy made out like a bandit too. I hope it’s a birthday to remember for him.

  • How did I miss this? JenGi, I’ll get to the Mary Jane with no bra wearing socks in a second. I want you to know what you did for the 8 year old boy, my friend, was being Jesus to that family. You’re like that, I know you’re blushing, saying ‘stop it Stacey!’ but it’s true. And you probably think ‘doesn’t anyone do this?’. I don’t think so. But I believe people like you change this. Had to say that… sorry.

    Okay, on to the Lee press on nails and the no bra thing–OH MY GOODNESS you seriously nailed it! Girl, if this is an Ozark thing, it’s worked its way north, we’ll both need to flee! Wearing rooster socks!

    So the Tom Petty song with Mary Jane in it? Is THIS what that means? No WAY! I seriously didn’t know. Need to be a daughter of missionaries to get in on this stuff, I’m glad I have you. xoxoxo

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