Ok…here’s the deal.
I’m still in shock, so bear with me. I need to get this out.
I knew from month 1 that my oldest child, OldMan was going to be different. The how’s, why’s, and when’s were always floating around out there. It didn’t matter cause he was so very precious to me. When he turned 8 we knew this was going to be a whopper year for him. 7 led up to it. Some stuff was so typical kid stuff. Some not so much.
Most Monday mornings are just like every other household: rushing around trying to find something substantial to eat, arguing about what to wear, reminding them that brushing teeth is more than just sucking toothpaste off their toothbrush, and I-don’t-care-if-not-brushing-your-hair-is-the-latest- fad-you’ll-just-have-to-look-like-a-nerd-today. (The funny thing now would be to say, “Then when I’m done with J, I get the kids ready”…but you SO would see that coming right?)
Back to drama…
This morning that crazy routine came to a screeching halt, when OldMan mentioned that one of his classmates asked him if he knew what f-u-c-(WHOA!!!!) meant. Might I also interject that this kid has a cellphone with the greeting of “F U”. Classy. Who gives their 2nd grader a cell phone?!?! I just don’t understand why he would need one.
Now most parents know to just answer the question and then the kids are usually satified without having details. But we need to back up a bit so you understand my angst.
When OldMan was 3 he asked where babies came from. I told him, “From the momma’s belly.”
“But how did it get there.”
“God takes a piece of mommy and a piece of daddy and makes the baby in my belly.”
“How does the baby come out?”
(I was pregnant at the time) “I go to the hospital, and the Dr. helps deliver the baby.”
“Does the baby come out of your bo-bo (ie – butt)?”
(deep sigh) “No, the baby comes out of mama’s pee-pee.”
“Oh…ok.” Off he runs.
Not another word I hear from him until he’s 5, then he proceeds to tell me that he remembers that conversation and doesn’t believe me. He said there is NO WAY that a baby could come out of that area. Also, I should always tell him the truth cause he’ll figure it out.
That’s when we had the conversation about how God made women special to stretch to be able to have that baby out of that location. Well! I didn’t want him saying anything to his brother or friends that was wrong. He was picked on enough.
Fast forward to 7 yrs old – he STILL remembers the convo from when he was 3 and asks, “How does God take a piece of the man and a piece of the woman and put it in the woman’s belly?” Before I could stutter an obnoxious response, he said, “It must be like what he did when he took Adam’s rib and put it in Eve.” And he walked away. Phew! (Yeah…wrong bone buddy.)
J and I knew the “Talk” needed to take place soon. I, personally, wanted to wait until this summer so that he didn’t take this info to school and hash it around with friends. I hoped prayed figured if we said something during the summer then by August it would be old news.
Also I need to note, we have a house rule that if you don’t know the meaning of the word, 1) you can’t say/use it and 2) you must look it up in the dictionary and we talk about how it should/should not be used.
So, when OldMan asked me what f-u-c-you know means, I told him it was one of the worst cuss words out there. He then (conveniently) remembered the house rule and grabbed the dictionary. I yelled beckoned for J to join us in our bedroom hoping he wouldn’t choke on his Corn Pop’s when he found out what was going on.
Not only did he NOT choke but he did an AWESOME job of talking with Oldman about it. I sat back and just enjoyed listening to a father and son discuss cultured words and understandings.
Also props need to go out to Webster for at least keeping THAT slang word out of the dictionary! Whoo-hoo!!
School’s out in 2 weeks.
Guess I know what the first thing on our Summer Agenda will be.