Oldman

oldman.jpg

I love my oldest son to death as most mothers love their children.  His personality is so much like his father yet he looks so much like me.

He has always been a bit different.  I’ve mentioned how he was having conversations with us since he was 17 months old.  He’s always been more comfortable being with older kids and adults. 

School has been hard for him.  Kids can be so cruel.  Because he talks different (ie: uses big words) then they make fun of him.  So to get out of the radar he’s tried acting younger, but that just makes him miserable.  So he’s either miserable from the kids or from himself.  He hates it. 

Each year he has had problems of not paying attention in class, etc.  Last year his teacher was so destructive it really made an impact on his outlook on learning.  This year the teacher has really been trying to work with him.  J and I have been worried, because we know he’s obviously bright, so why would he intentionally stop trying.

Well, yesterday, Oldman’s teacher asked to talk with J when he went to pick Oldman up.  Prior to this year she taught 4th grade.  Over the summer she taught the 4th grade summer program for gifted children.  She said that at first she thought that he might just be an unruly child, but over the past few months she’s started thinking that he might be “gifted”.  She said talking to him is like talking to a 5th grader.  She has sent a form to the guidance counselor requesting that Oldman be tested for the Pioneer Program (for gifted kids).  She gave us a parents form to fill out and said if we were interested to fill it out and meet with her and the counselor.  Part of the form is us answering yes/no to many questions.  We ended up saying yes to most of them.

 I have a lot of questions for those two.  Apparently if we agree to have Oldman tested, he will have an I.Q. test.  He must score a minimum of 126 to continue with the rest of the testing.  The other 2 tests are the Woodcock-Johnson Achievement Test and the G.A.T.E.S. test. 

(On a sidenote – and acting like a 12 year old boy – are you kidding me?!  The Woodcock-Johnson Achievement Test??  That’s the best name you could come up with?!?!  Obviously I’m not gifted if that cracks me up…)

I’ve been on the internet all day looking into various gifted issues and I’ll tell you what – I just can’t imagine that Oldman would score that high on the I.Q. test, but on the other hand, if he did?  It would answer so many questions we’ve had about him.

I don’t want him to know that he might be taking this “test” because he’s a perfectionist and he’ll completely stress out over it…but this momma is so worried for him if he doesn’t pass.  Does that mean he’s “unruly”?

{…sigh…}

Nobody said that parenting would be easy, BUT I WISH THEY WOULD HAVE!  I’d have somebody to yell at…

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  • You know he’s not “unruly” and teachers can tell the difference between a gifted child and an unruly child. And maybe it will ease things in his mind once he understands that he’s gifted, and not just a wierdo that’s different from all the other kids for no apparent reason.
    With that said, having your child tested for the gifted program is a VERY PERSONAL decision, based on your family, your child, and you and J’s prayerful consideration. It’s great for some children, and not for others.
    Maybe ask the counselor if you can talk to other parents in the Pioneer Program before you make your final decision?
    Good luck!

  • (By the way – I used to be one of those teachers who could tell the difference)
    (Oh, and I was also one of those kids that was labelled “unruly” ’til someone determined that there was more going on than met the eye)

  • I’m not an expert, nor did I sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but hey, my brain age is 28 (see previous post)!
    I’ve been in the education world long enough that I can spot the kids that have a little extra something (not all of them, but some of them). I saw it in Old Man after I first met him.
    The gifted label is a tough one (both good and bad), but it may just be the “CHANGE” you all have needed.

  • Yeah, what Melissa said. 😀

    My daughter was also having conversations with us at that age. She started talking at 7 mths. She is so incredibly bright and different. She truly marches to the beat of her own drum. Everyone thinks she’s g/t; however, the test doesn’t support that. Luckily we live in an area that embraces her unique-ness. My heart hurts for Oldman. Kids are so cruel. How fortunate that he has a teacher that sees past him being labeled unruly. I pray that you get the answers that Oldman needs to hear. And, IF he doesn’t pass, that doesn’t mean he is unruly or that he’s NOT g/t. People react differently to test-taking, I have learned over the years.

    Parenting sure isn’t easy. It’s constant worry & stress. But it’s also constant love & joy.

    * a sidenote: I give the Woodcock test to our students too. I always have to give a chuckle. What a name!

  • Oh D is totally right! If he doesn’t test as gifted (which I would place a bet that he will – not that I would bet or anything), it doesn’t really decide anything because everyone is different when taking tests. I think you are right to try to avoid him stressing himself out over passing the test. If you can – let him think it’s just ‘another one of those stupid tests you have to take’ (I mean, come on – of course you can make the woodcock test sound like a dumb test!) – then he won’t stress himself out so bad. I’ll be thinking of you guys for sure.

  • Cody tested into the gifted program too, go for it. It’s very validating to tell people that John and I can’t be all that stooooopid, we have a gifted son after all! So…yeah!

    Woodcock-Johnson you say? JenGi, because you caught it, you’re definitely gifted. Just different gifted. But gifted. Love ya!xo

  • Woodcock-Johnson cracks me up, too. And I am gifted on SOOOO many levels.

    Seriously, I have two gifted children, both going thru the Gifted Program at their respective schools. Daughter is in a magnet school especially for gifted kids and she LOVES it. Next year she goes to high school, but Little Son will go into that same magnet school. No worries about the test – make it no big deal to him and he’ll do fine. And if he doesn’t pass? Well, that’s fine, too. Whichever way, you have a special special boy there.

  • I’ll jump in here simply because I used to teach school and my I.Q. evidently would have qualified me as gifted. I think you should at least let him try the testing – if it freaks him out – then something else should be done – but please don’t let your smart and evidently fun to talk with son NOT enjoy learning. Whatever kind of education you decide is best for him and your family is obviously your business as parents – just hope your son gets a chance to love being at school. whatever school that might be –

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